I’ve always been overly conscious of becoming too comfortable day to day. We all know that growth and happiness don’t come from comfort and entertainment, but trials, pains and discomfort.
Social Media, news and the like trigger our emotions in a way that keeps us returning over and over again for drink that never quenches our thirst.
Deep down we all desire to be better, have a clearer mind, like ourselves a bit more and to be liked/loved by others. We often don’t get the dopamine hit we need from the purest sources such as family and friends, so we go to less healthy sources like the ones I’ve mentioned above.
One of the main reasons I created this newsletter was to share content in the purest form I know how with no tricks, click-bait or promises of quick results.
Instead I hope no matter where you are at personally that my newsletter will encourage growth and lasting joy outside of the input from others and entirely from the inside out.
So now to the title of this email.
Each month I take an hour or three and ask myself hard questions. They are meant to get me thinking deeply about where I am at personally.
Based on my answers, I’ll set goals to move away from what is unhealthy and likewise do more of what is good for me.
I’ve always been a fan of creating what works for yourself, not just copying what an influencer does, so with that in mind please steal or modify these to your own delight and needs:
Hard Questions I ask Myself
- Whose life do I admire that is secretly miserable?
- What things do I pretend to be true only because it puts me in good standing with my tribe?
- Which of my current values/beliefs would be different if I were raised by different parents?
- What beliefs do I have that have the least evidence?
- What do I believe with complete faith that even if it isn’t true is still good for me?
- Who has the right answers but I don’t listen to them because they’re bad at communicating?
- Inverse of the last question, who do I listen to that is wrong but a good communicator?
- What annoys me about other people that I sometimes do myself?
- How much of my nostalgia is a false or incomplete memory of the past?
- Is this thing I’m worried about actually a problem, or am I looking for problems to worry about because they make me feel in control?
- What do I think is a universal truth but is actually only normal in my culture?
- What was true when I was a child that isn’t now?
- Is anything going well today that I will look back on and wish I had quit while I was ahead?
- What things do I focus on categorizing it as passion when it’s actually addiction?
- Do I spend more time defending things I already know or trying to learn something new?
- Am I the type of person others feel safe criticizing?
- Am I being as nice as I could be, rather than just as nice as I need to be?
I’ve created a printable version with lines to write your answers here:
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Oou9reZTsQ5LAa3kNPYanun-bVXrMB4qgdSgrlERT_s/edit?usp=sharing
The short of it
We tend to associate our beliefs as correct (see fundamental attribution error from last week) and often won’t consider our values and habits as unhealthy or wrong.
The more I challenge myself from the inside, the more I see myself changing into the type of person others like to be around, but more importantly, the type of person I’m OK being alone with.
I hope that even just one of these questions will give you a pause to think, ingest and be truthful with yourself.
Until next week!
-Joseph
