Hello Friend,
This week I’ve been thinking a lot about my behavior. For the most part I believe that overall contentment and joy comes from our behavior, usually as a result of what we view as right or wrong and how closely we align our behavior with them.
Additionally, long term growth and somewhat guaranteed happiness comes from our day-to-day behavior and changes to our behavior that will get us closest to what that long term objective is.
It’s not too difficult to break down and usually starts with looking at our lives.
For me its a close look at my daily routine, calendar or leisure activities.
Here are some examples
If I socially drink there are some negative outcomes that will eventually happen. It could be anything from injuring another person to an unwanted pregnancy.
Depending on my makeup, I might also have a difficult time avoiding addiction and reliance on alcohol to relax.
Another example might be business. If I am unwilling to be honest and have hard conversations with not only employees, but co-workers or clients the results will be a business I feel like I have no control over.
By pleasing others constantly, I’m at the whim of their mood and have not earned their respect. Many will blame others who are bullies or rude, but we only have ourselves to blame for what kind of behavior others give us. I could unpack this one for a while but I’ll leave it there.
Last one is feeling loved.
So many of us want the person we love to just see us and melt. Initial relationships tend to have a fire, spice and excitement. Over time it can die down and for some turn into an almost contractual or room-mate style relationship.
What would we give to have back that original spark?
Unfortunately many times affairs or divorce is the solution to a bored partner.
If though we rely on our own self to feel loved and of worth, the confident and exciting person our partner was so attracted to becomes resurrected and the spark returns but in a more mature way.
Our Behavior Should not be Dictated by our Mood
This concept of how we act consistently or behave being the reason our lives are how they are, shouldn’t be a brain-breaker. We have all heard it before I’m sure and internally know it’s true, but probably have areas where we still mis-behave for one reason or another.
One huge area is our mood. How often do you see someone walking around with a shirt that jokingly says: “I just can’t adult today” or “Warning Introvert”.
Sure these are meant to be fun but honestly I’ve never found them funny at all.
We’ve got one life to live. Maybe we cope by joking about how we are having a rough year or we just want a moment to vent and scream, but honestly do we really need to coddle ourselves with safe spaces and cry rooms?
This may be just plain insensitive but…
Growth will never happen for the weak.
If you don’t change your behavior, you don’t change yourself. If you use the excuse of needing a good mood to work on your behavior, it will never happen.
Routines
Every morning I’m up at 5am. Doesn’t matter when I went to bed. Some days I’m tired all day long because I only got 4 hours of sleep. So what.
I read every morning. Its a way for me to be in control. I don’t wait for down time or a moment to sit and read a good book. Instead around 6am I’m in my recliner reading. Right now it’s Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
I also exercise every day. Usually pull-ups, push-ups, sit-ups and squats.
I do all of these things whether I feel like it or not. Nowadays it’s pretty easy and I really look forward to it each day. In the beginning though since it was a new behavior I would sometimes want to just lay in bed and just as they say “not adult today”.
Pick Your Path by Changing Your Behavior
Start small.
If you don’t have routines, behaviors or goals then just start with something small.
A good one is making your bed every morning.
Another might be drinking a glass of water right when you get up.
All positive behaviors in my life have translated into better relationships, financial decisions, growth and 100% more happiness.
Writing is a Behavior for Me
I’ll finish up by sharing this last one. Writing is a way for me to put on paper (so to speak) what I’ve been learning or trying to apply in my life.
You’ve probably noticed I have nothing to sell you and no long game.
OK that’s a small lie.
I do hope that sharing in the most honest way I know how my pains, joys and growth that someone who reads this will get a spark of change they need for their own journey.
Point is writing is a part of my life. It creates so many benefits I can’t list them all, but even though there is no direct benefit to my business or bottom line, there is a benefit to my understanding, learning and my own behavior changing for the better.
Until next time,
-Joseph
