How the Internet Has Changed How We Use the Bathroom

The internet has increased the amount of time people spend on the toilet more than any foodborne illness known to man. Even the excruciating minutes spent in the bathroom after a midnight Taco Bell run wreaks havoc on your colon are nothing compared to the time we normally spend doomscrolling on our porcelain thrones. Honestly, that’s probably for the best. No one likes being left with nothing but their thoughts during the inevitable silence, boredom, and tedium of doing their “business.” In fact, statistically, there is a good chance some of you are reading this while on the toilet. If you are one of those people, thank you and please remember to wash your hands. The truth is, if you use your phone on the toilet, you are not alone — and you’re doing the right thing.

Before Smartphones

Before the invention of smartphones, people had to try and distract themselves during the awkward minutes spent on the can in other ways. They often killed time by reading a book or magazine during their bathroom rituals, and this had the added benefit of providing a tool with which to waft away the smell. However, it did not provide the same, consistent level of distraction that an internet-equipped smartphone would. Also, it required that you carried reading material with you when you went to the bathroom, which let everyone in visual radius know that you were about to be flipping through pages while having a poo. Now, everyone takes their smartphones with them everywhere, so it’s much less conspicuous.

Internet Usage in the Bathroom

The internet has changed how we use the bathroom more than any fancy bidet or smart toilet ever could. According to a survey conducted by NordVPN back in 2022, 65% of respondents (which came from around the world) admitted to using their smartphone while in the restroom. However, more than 70% of Americans admit to doing so, which means roughly 5% more of us are distracted while exorcising our demons. According to the same study, people pass their time on the toilet by browsing social media, playing games, reading the news, online shopping, and watching videos. Others are apparently checking their work emails or making phone calls, which seems like too much business while doing your business. While this might seem like a bad thing, since the vast majority of us are wasting our precious bathroom time by browsing the internet, it’s actually fine. Sometimes — especially when using the bathroom is involved — it’s good to have some good ol’ fashioned distraction.